Searching for balance

More than one year ago, while I was studying for the IELTS certification I stumbled upon an article where the different phases that every expacts live abroad were explained. I clearly remember the pattern of the curve: euphoria – shock – adaptation.

Photo from: https://ebrary.net/21444/management/international_assignments

We talked about this also during my second training: after only four or five months almost everyone felt like they overcome the first phase (the "honeymoon phase") and they were facing a different, unfamiliar culture. I had a very long honeymoon phase instead, and for the first six, seven months I lived in a bubble made of wonder, changes, inputs. I felt like I was an alien compared to almost everyone else in that room with me. I am sure this phase was so long because I felt completely at ease with my flatmates, that became my friends and important points of reference.

Then spring came, and a lots of thoughts too. After a lethargic and cold winter, flowers started to bloom and so my will to do things, see places, have a nice walk to see the sunset, drink something after work. And yet, there was always a "but...". I felt an unwillingness to do that often forced me to just go home to stay in bed. Additionally, I had a lot of thoughts about my future, about missing my loved ones, about still feeling after all those months to live in a country which is not my home.

In retrospect, I say that it was exactly in March that a new phase started for me here in Budapest.

I had a lot of nice experiences anyway. I travelled around Hungary (Szeged and Sopron added to my visited cities list) and abroad (Vienna and Italy), but the homesickness was very strong.

The nearer June came, the stronger was the happiness for Sara's new life but also the disorientation because since the very first day she was "our mama". I knew that after her departure nothing would be the same again. Her farewell was unforgettable: three days of party and memories and laughs and tears. I cannot explain with words how her presence enriched my experience here.

Now, after a couple of weeks I finally accepted her departure, and that is maybe why I can leave behind the "shock phase".

I am finally accepting what being here means: being far from my old grandmas, from my friends, from my love who is 850 km far from me.

Photo from the farewell💗

One of the things we did in these months is the Adományboltok éjszakája, a night that involved a lot of charity shops from Budapest and the rest of Hungary. Every shop had its own program till midnight, with workshop, activities, discount for the costumers. This year's theme was "HELP". It was very interesting to think about the question "how do I help?" and to be honest to answer the question was very difficult for me. I almost felt ashamed because nothing was coming to my mind. Then I had an idea, that encloses everything I learned here in the shop. I like the idea to help others by buying from small brands, innovative brands made by young people that believe in a possible change (in fashion as in every other area). I like to think that my purchases can help young people with an idea, to take it forward. That my purchases can help artisanship not to die. That I can spread the love for beautiful stuff made by hand, slowly, with love and passion in a world every day faster and uglier.

The wheel of fortune we made fot the event

Another good news we (as NGO) received is that we will take part on the Sziget festival in August. During the day we will do workshops and in the night we can enjoy concerts. A very close friend of mine will visit me in those days so I am super enthusiast and I am really looking forward to this new experience!

Summer finally came and I really want to go on holiday and enjoy the weather. This weekend I went to Pannonhalma Archabbey, because lavander is blooming and it was possible to pick it. Nature is so moving! In the botanical garden, in that landscape so similar to Tuscany I felt so peacefull, as I wasn't since a long time. In the next months I will go to Italy: to my hometown, in Bologna where my boyfriend is living and in Sardinia, where we will spend some days of relax.

I would have liked to go to the Balaton lake but the prices were very high so I bookeda place  for one night in Miskolc. From there I will visit Lillafüred and Miskoltapolca. I hope wherever I will be, a new balance will join me.

Wiew from Pannonhalma Archabbey